Medicated Kitty
See kitty.
Sick, sick kitty.
See the pill.
Kitty doesn't "do" pills,
and certainly not the worm pills
which are the size of golf balls.
See Bryan.
Bryan likes his fingers.
All of them.
Especially the thumbs.
And he's not real crazy
about punctures or lacerations.
Bryan likes his fingers
all firmly attached to his body
where they're supposed to be.
Bryan sees the kitty
and the pill
and counts all of his fingers
before starting the procedure.
He also plans on a re-count
AFTER the procedure.
Not that he's particularly fond
of inventorying body parts,
its just that
kitty already HAS a reputation
with every vet in the area
and some cost accounting
is in order.
Bryan has an idea.
Kitty has an idea, too,
but lacks opposable thumbs.
Opposable thumbs usually win.
Bryan calls for a large bath towel
with that old saying
in the back of his head,
"Don't let the cat out of the bag."
Funny how that old saying
never mentioned any consequences.
Did I mention that Bryan
has already inventoried
ALL of his body parts
at least once?
The towel makes a nice bag
into which kitty DOES NOT wish to go.
With hands planted
loosely but firmly
around kitty's neck.
A soft cotton straight jacket
and down goes the pill
with no choice in the matter.
Naughty, naughty, naughty Bryan.
--Written by Bryan Manske, my best friend
I have known Bryan nearly the entire time Onyx and I spent together. One
day, it became obvious that Onyx needed worming pills. So I bought some.
They were purple and HUGE. I attempted to give Onyx one. The label on
the bottle said "can cause excess salivation". Well, Onyx bit into the
first pill I tried to administer. Suddenly, he is foaming at the mouth
and crying and dripping all over the apartment. I thought I'd hurt him
terribly. In tears, I called Bryan, begging him to come over and help.
He did--the above story is reminiscent of the occasion.
Submitted by Susan Zeigler
Copyright © 1999 & 2000 Susan E. Zeigler
All Rights Reserved
